Duplicity
by Kitsune no Tora
Summary: For Ray, Rosalind had been the one. Max, his longtime friend, had long ago agreed to help Ray woo his sister. But then Kyle starts showing interest in Rosalind, and Max has his chance. But will taking that chance cost him, or give him what he wants most?
1. First Attempt

Disclaimer: -taps heels together- I wish it was mine, I wish it was mine, I wish it was mine… -waits- Nope. :C

**Author's Note:** I know what you're thinking: haven't I seen this story before? O.o Yeah, you might have. This is the rewrite I was talking about. If you didn't get the message, I basically started hating the original version of this story and decided I needed to start over. Yeah yeah, I know, it took me forever (I said that what, last September?), but I took a loooong break and worked on other things (AKA I had writer's block and tried again and again to get a beginning I liked before giving up for a while). So let's start this journey again, shall we? :D I hope you enjoy~

_**Duplicity**_

Chapter 1: First Attempt

.~.~.~.~.

You know those days that you aren't quite sure how they might go, but are excited and hopeful for no real reason when you wake up anyway?

Today was one of those days, except I might have had a reason to be hopeful. And extremely nervous—and boy, was I. I was practically shaking the entire morning, what-ifs plaguing my mind non-stop. What if I made a fool of myself? What if she said no? What would I do then? Probably go hide in a corner and wish I could dissolve into it.

Today was a holiday, but just not any holiday. It was Summer 19th—the day of the Dance Festival. And I was going to ask the girl I liked if she would dance with me.

Well, if I could convince myself not to chicken out, anyway. I was good at that—chickening out, that is. The past few festivals were a complete failure on my part because of it, and this time I was stubbornly holding onto my resolve. I was going to ask her out. I was going to ask her out. I was going to ask Rosalind out, and nothing I could say to myself was going to change my mind. Maybe if I could keep on repeating that to myself, I'd actually do it.

…Who was I kidding? I couldn't do this. I slumped into the chair at the front desk with a sigh, setting my mug of coffee on the table. This was pointless. She would never say yes. Never in a million years would Rosalind, esteemed only daughter of the affluent Herman de Sainte-Coquille, agree to dance with me, the quiet doctor-in-training at the Alvarna Clinic (who wasn't the best dancer ever), childhood friends or not. Well, she might agree, but not in the way I wanted. Not…romantically. Just as friends. It has always been _just as friends_. I didn't want to be just friends anymore, not since…well, a really long time ago, when I figured out that my feelings towards her bridged past that point. Rosalind has yet to take the hint—not that I was doing a good job at dropping any.

There was a loud thump right above my head that snapped me out of my gloomy slump, and I heard angry voices filter down from upstairs. I sighed. Mom and Alicia were fighting again. I guess they decided to start early today; they usually didn't start bickering until they came downstairs. I took a sip of my coffee and leaned back into the chair. Today was going to suck, I decided. So much for waking up in a good mood…

Alicia came stomping down the stairs a few minutes later, looking positively livid and mumbling under her breath—one didn't need much of an imagination to guess at what she was saying and who it was directed at.

"Good morning," I called out, which she grumbled back before walking out the door and slamming it behind her. I gave the door a sour look before turning back to my coffee. Perfect way to start the day, definitely. At least my coffee wasn't rude. Mom came down with much the same expression, locking herself up in the infirmary before I even had a chance to say hello. What a wonderful family I had, totally supporting and loving, right? Here I was, spiraling into a nervous wreck, and no one noticed.

I guess I had no reason to be upset at them; they had their own things to worry about, but still. It would have been nice if _someone_ noticed and gave me a little moral support. But no, no one cared.

"Good morning!"

Well, that was a little better. I looked up to see Max closing the door behind him, a great big grin on his face like he was the king of the world.

"Good morning," I replied automatically, taking another sip of my drink. Max came around the desk and sat on it in front of me. Why was he so happy?

"Why the long face?" He grinned, leaning back on his hand.

"You're sitting on my papers," I answered sullenly, but his grin only turned into a knowing smile.

"That's not it. Tell me." I frowned, avoiding his gaze. He was just going to make fun of me for chickening out, that little insecure voice in the back of my mind that was slowly getting stronger told me. I decided to ignore him. Max, not the little voice. The little voice was becoming very convincing right now—this was never going to work, I was just going to make a fool of myself, she was going to say no and not want to be friends with me anymore or ever speak to me again, she'll get angry or creeped out or-

"Hey, I'm talking to you, pay attention," Max said, snapping his fingers in front of my face. I jumped slightly, looking up to glare at him.

"What?"

"What are you getting depressed about? You're supposed to be excited!" He said, gesturing eagerly. "Today is the day you're finally going to ask my sister out!"

"And why am I supposed to be excited?" I grumbled, "I'm just going to make an idiot out of myself."

"Hey, don't say that. You will not. We discussed this, Ray." He jumped off the desk—spreading papers everywhere, much to my dismay. "You're going to go up to her, start a nice, pleasant conversation, then sweep her off her feet for the best time she's ever had. You'll dance all night," he started moving around the room animatedly, dancing with himself and humming while I watched him incredulously, feeling a small smile tug at the corners of my mouth, "and when the night ends you'll tell her how you feel and she'll be so love-struck she'll have to say yes." He turned to me with a flourish, his grin from when he came in back. "And then you'll wonder why you were being so silly and didn't just ask her out weeks ago."

I chuckled. If only it was that easy… "…Do you really think she'll say yes?"

"Of course!" he responded quickly, "she'd have to be out of her mind to say no to you."

"But…"

"But nothing, Ray." I frowned.

"No! But… but what if she does say no? What if I make a mistake and make a fool out of myself? What if she's disgusted by the idea and doesn't want to talk to me anymore afterward or—" Max slammed his hands on the desk, startling me out of my rant of all the insecurities that had been plaguing me all morning. I looked up, but his gaze wasn't angry, just concerned.

"Do you really think she would do that, Ray?"

I let my head fall into my hands and groaned. "I don't know… no, probably not. I'm just… nervous." I was just making up excuses to not do it and save my dignity. Or possibly save myself from heartbreak. Both, probably.

"Ray…" Max said softly, his coat rustling just above my head. I wondered for a second why he was wearing it on such a hot day, but dismissed the question immediately because it was Max I was wondering about, and who ever understood why he did anything anyway? I shook my head in response, heaving the what, fifth sigh of the morning?

"It's stupid, I know, I should just ask… there's no point in building myself up and then not doing anything about it…"

"That's better! Now," he pulled me up from my chair by the hand, ignoring my protests and practically dragging me to the door, "go out there and ask her."

"But—"

"Go, silly!" he demanded, pushing me out and closing the door behind me.

"Hey! You can't lock me out of my own house!" I yelled through the door, trying the handle—it was locked—before knocking on it insistently. I wasn't ready for this yet!

"Sure I can! Go already; Rosalind is probably hanging around the West End by now. You don't want to keep her waiting, do you?" he responded, slightly muffled through the door. I glared at it; this wasn't very fair…mean door. Did it have to be so solid and prevent me from hiding from inevitable doom?

I groaned, turning around and staring in the direction of the Park. I could already hear music playing - lighthearted with a steady beat. Well, it was now or never…

.~.~.~.~.

Rosalind was where Max said she was—at the West End of town, lingering between the Mayor's house and the dock there, where we usually met on festival days. She was watching the water, looking lost in thought, and I watched her nervously for a little while—could I really do this?—before approaching.

"Good morning," I said politely, smiling when she turned to me.

"Good morning!" she responded with a smile of her own, which made my heart jump a little in my chest. "How are you today?"

"I'm good…" It was a lie, really, I was just about to jump out of my skin with nervousness, but she didn't have to know that. "How are you?"

"I can't complain. I actually slept decently last night. Thank you for the remedy you gave me, it worked wonderfully."

"Uhh, you're welcome, I'll be happy to make it for you whenever you need it," I responded shyly, feeling my face heat up. She definitely looked more rested than she had yesterday, and the grateful look she was giving me tied my stomach up in nervous knots.

"Thank you; that would be great." She nodded, turning her attention back to the water. "It's a beautiful day, isn't it?"

"Yeah…" I said lamely, and an uncomfortable silence stretched on after that, neither of us seeming able to think of anything to say. I could feel her gaze flicker toward me every few moments, and it was eating at me. What was I going to do? Freezing up was not part of the plan…

The silence stretched on, and I fidgeted in place, not knowing what to do. Should I just ask her? The conversation part of "sweeping her off her feet," as Max had put it, wasn't going very well.

"Is something wrong?" Rosalind asked, and I jerked with surprise, glancing at her with alarm. "You seem a bit… uncomfortable."

Shoot, was it really that obvious? "N-No, nothing's wrong, I-I'm fine!" I protested, waving my hands.

Rosalind gave me an expression that quite plainly told me she thought that was full of bull, and said so. "I don't believe you. What's wrong? You're acting strangely." She reached over, putting her hand on my forehead, and I'm sure the color of my face skyrocketed toward tomato. "Are you not feeling well?"

"No, no, I feel fine!" I said quickly, pulling her hand off my forehead before my face could possibly heat up any more.

"Then what is it? Is something bothering you?"

I sighed, staring at the ground timidly. _Just say it_, I told myself. Now was my chance…

"It's nothing, really… I was just wondering…"

"Wondering what?" she asked when I paused, and I squirmed a little. _Just say it!_

"I—"

"Hey!" I jumped at the voice and looked up to see Kyle running towards us, waving. I exhaled with relief, finally, a small distraction…

"Good morning, you two," he greeted when he reached us, slightly out of breath.

"Good morning," we replied in accidental unison, and I felt my heart jump a little again because of it. Rosalind just giggled.

"I had something I wanted to ask you, Rosalind." He glanced at me, then back to Rosalind. "Am I interrupting anything?" Uh oh, that sounded like trouble…

_Yes!_ The little voice in my head replied indignantly, but I didn't voice it. _I was only just about to finally ask Rosalind if she would dance with me after beating around the bush about it for forever, so yes, you are interrupting!_ Too bad I didn't have the courage to say such a thing.

"Not really, what is it?" Rosalind replied, and I frowned. Kyle looked relieved, and it bothered me. What did he want, anyway?

"Well, I was just wondering if you would like to dance with me."

…Wait, what?

"Hmm?" Rosalind stared at him for a second (where I hoped and prayed she would say no) before answering. "Yeah, sure, I'd like that."

My heart dropped into the pit of my stomach.

"Great!" Kyle smiled, looking absolutely ecstatic. She returned it, and it felt like something inside me crumbled and died. Just like that. He asked her just like that, with hardly any hesitation at all and right when I was just about to ask her myself, and she agreed. _Just like that._

"We'll talk later, okay Ray?" Rosalind called back as she walked off with Kyle, which I belatedly grumbled an 'okay' back to.

I couldn't believe it. That was so unfair.

.~.~.~.~.

The rest of the day saw me randomly wandering around town (steering well clear of the Park, where everyone was enjoying the festival—including Rosalind and Kyle) in a dejected mess. This was just perfect. The _one time_ I had managed to collect my courage enough to just ask her like I had wanted to do for practically forever; and Kyle steps in and does it himself! Since when did he like Rosalind, anyway? I thought he was involved with Mana, but I guess not…

I eventually wandered back to the Clinic, and upon hearing the loud din coming from the room Mom, Douglas, and Gordon usually drank in on holidays, I quickly ran up the stairs and into my bedroom, crawling into my bed with a long sigh. This sucked. What were the chances that this would happen? I didn't even want to think about it anymore…

I was just about to doze off when Max knocked on my door. "Ray, are you in here? How did it go?" he asked loudly as the door clicked shut behind him. I didn't look up. "…What are you doing?"

"I'm moping, what does it look like?" I deadpanned.

"Moping? Why, what happened?" I heard the quiet screech of a chair being pulled across the floor to the side of my bed, and the creaking sound it made when Max sat in it.

"Kyle happened," I mumbled dejectedly through the pillow. "Just as I had finally gathered my courage and was about to ask her he appeared, talked to us for a bit, then asked her if she wanted to dance with him. She agreed before I could say anything." Not that I _could_ have said anything… Kyle had an expression that resembled a kid at the Shooting Star Festival when she had agreed, and she had looked so excited herself…

"He what?" Max replied, shocked. "Wow…"

"Yup." I groaned, burying my face farther into the pillow. Suffocating sounded nice right about now.

"That's unfortunate…"

"Tell me about it," I huffed into the pillow, "he just walked right up and asked her like he was asking her about the weather. She looked really happy, too. Honestly, if I had this much of a problem getting to this point, I probably don't stand a chance against him if he really does like her…"

"Hey, don't be that way," Max said, forcibly rolling me over so I would face him. I scowled at him, but he ignored me. "This just means you have a little bit of competition, that's all! You just have to tell her how you feel before Kyle does."

If only it was that easy…

.~.~.~.~.

**A/N:** So that's the first chapter!

Thank you for reading; comments, suggestions, criticism, or _whatever_ you want to throw my way is deeply appreciated, while not required. But I will love you forever if you do drop me a line!


	2. Cuddle Bug

Disclaimer: I own nothing, and never will.

_**Duplicity**_

Chapter 2: Cuddle Bug

.~.~.~.~.

Wednesday night (three days after my horrific failure at asking Rosalind out, when I discovered that I had competition in the form of the friendly amnesiac farmer next door) found me in Max's room, the two of us talking about nothing in particular while Max flipped through his collection of records, looking for something to listen to. It was a perfectly comfortable conversation until Max just had to bring up what happened.

"Have you talked to Rosalind at all recently?" he asked, picking up a record and looking at it for a moment before putting it back.

I heaved a sigh, lightly thumping my head against the wall behind me. "No, not really. We talked for a short time yesterday, but not for very long." I'd been busy with work for the most part of the beginning of the week, but I had run into her after work while on a walk. It was only small talk—she was on her way to visit Julia at the bath house and couldn't hang around.

She did mention having a great time at the dance festival with Kyle, though, which bothered me more than I could admit. Luckily, though, she seemed to have forgotten that I was about to ask her something, because she didn't mention it. At least I wouldn't have to embarrass myself trying to make something up.

"He comes by every morning with a gift for her and stays to chat for a while, you know. I'm afraid she can't stop talking about him," Max said, abandoning his search for a moment to glance back at me. "Whatever are you going to do about it?"

I slouched in my seat on his bed, chewing my lip in thought. What could I do about it? I hadn't really the time to think of anything, and besides, Max was best at that kind of thing… "I don't know," I replied truthfully. "Quite honestly, I don't have any ideas…" Kyle was charismatic and friendly. Everyone in town loved him—he was kind to everyone, myself included. He'd attract all of the girls in town's attention just by being there; while little me wasn't really noticed unless they came into the Clinic with some kind of injury or sickness. He also was someone new; we've all known each other since we were babies. I think Alicia called it… an air of mystery? Yeah. I definitely didn't have that.

I didn't really stand a chance, unless I really tried hard at it. And I wasn't going to just give up, no way. This was too important to be shy about it. Now if only I could impress her…

"Well…" Max began, continuing to flip through sleeves and sleeves of his music, "the Fishing Contest is this weekend."

"So?"

"You could participate."

I snorted, rolling my eyes. "Are you serious? Can you honestly picture me participating in a Fishing Contest? I'd never catch anything. Why should I, anyway?"

"_Because_, Kyle will probably participate." Max smiled at me, pulling out a record and waving it at me. "Found it."

"Finally. And so what?"

"Well, you could participate," he pulled the record out of its sleeve and placed it on the player, "and if you beat him, that would attract Rosalind's attention, don't you think?"

I bit my lip, mulling it over. "Maybe… or I could fail miserably, which is probably the more likely outcome."

Max sighed, putting the needle on the disc and starting the player. "You see, it's that attitude that keeps holding you back! You don't know if you don't try, and if you don't try, Rosalind is going to fall for Kyle and not you." He crawled onto the bed as the music started playing, sitting next to me.

I sighed. That was definitely true… "But I'm a doctor, not a fisherman, Max. I haven't gone fishing in years, and I was never good at it in the first place." I almost shivered at the memories of the countless times we'd gone when we were kids—I'd spend hours with my line in the water while Barrett caught fish after fish (usually Max acted like a princess and refused to touch them because they were slimy, but he still _caught_ them), and when I _did _manage to hook something, most of the time it either got away, or when I reeled it out of the water it escaped or hurt me somehow. It just wasn't my thing. I didn't like watching the fish asphyxiate; either…it made me feel bad.

Max chuckled. "That's true. But Rosalind knows that too. Imagine what she'd think if you actually won? Especially since I hear Kyle's pretty good at it. Barrett told me he received a few good salmon from him a while back."

I couldn't help but snort in derision at that. "If you're so confident in his abilities and know full well of my lack of any whatsoever, then why are you even entertaining the idea that I'd win?"

"Just a thought." He chuckled. "You don't actually have to do it. You're the one who asked me for ideas."

I ignored the fact that I didn't actually _ask_ him for ideas and merely mentioned that I didn't have any at the moment, because it was a rather moot point, and settled for sighing despondently and flopping onto my back on the bed. "I'll think about it," I responded eventually, staring up at the ceiling. "But don't get your hopes up. It sounds like a Very Bad Idea to me."

"Whatever you say," he said, and I ignored the teasing lit to his voice in favor of just trying to forget about the current issue for a while and relax. I didn't come here to get all worked up. The music was soothing—a light melody on piano, and Max's bed was super comfortable like always. My bed, which I thought was pretty comfortable in itself, felt like a rock compared to his, and I couldn't deny that I was a little jealous of it. I breathed in a sigh of contentment, closing my eyes, and just listened to the music flow by.

The only time I ever got to relax like this was when I visited Max—at home there was always some kind of chore to do. It was nice, to have a place to relax separate from where I worked. I knew that Max liked it when we did this too, because he was usually busy helping his father run his business. We didn't get to spend the afternoon like this often, so it was always a nice change when we did.

My relaxed mood was interrupted slightly, though, when I got an odd feeling. I cracked open an eye and found Max staring at me, a thoughtful look on his face. I raised an eyebrow in silent question, but apparently he wasn't looking at my face (I couldn't tell exactly where he was looking due to foreshortening) because he didn't react.

"Enjoying the view?" I ventured, not being able to help the amused smile that cracked my face when he jumped a little, gaze snapping to my face. He actually looked a little sheepish, which I thought was amusing—aside from the fact that he was staring at me in the first place.

He recovered relatively quickly, though. "Maybe." He chuckled, smiling at me. "I was just thinking about something, I didn't mean to stare at you."

I didn't quite believe him, but decided to just accept the answer, because I doubted I was going to get anything out of him even if I did ask. I was entirely too comfortable at the moment to bother, anyway. I closed my eyes again, breathing deeply. His room smelled like him—like his cologne, mostly, but I could still pick up the undertones of a smell that was distinctly him. It was soothing, like a fond memory.

.~.~.~.~.

This was getting a little frustrating, Max decided. His carefully crafted resolve was cracking bit by bit on all sides while he struggled to pick the pieces up and glue them back in place. This just wasn't fair, in his opinion.

He glanced over at Ray, who laid sprawled out on his bed next to where he sat, peacefully asleep. He noticed the young doctor's breathing slowly even out sometime after the second song on the record finished playing, and now, since the record had come to end, the only sound in the room was his—very adorable—light snoring. This was what was bugging him. Not because he had fallen asleep while they were supposed to be spending time together—he honestly didn't mind that, because Ray was quite cute when he slept and he was sure he needed the rest—but, well, because he had fallen asleep right next to him, in his bed.

The urge to curl up next to him just to touch _and be near_ _him_ was almost maddening. It tugged at every muscle in his body and the back of his mind like a nagging child, but he didn't want to give in to it. He couldn't. He had long ago told himself 'no, Ray is off limits, no matter how much you're attracted to him, because he loves your sister and she might just like him back.'

That was if Kyle didn't get in the way of that. And he was so tempted to let him. But he promised Ray that he would help him in his pursuit of his sister's attention, and he wasn't one to break a promise. If anything, he was a man of his word. Just letting Kyle sweep Rosalind off her feet and not actively doing anything to prevent it was like breaking that promise, even if it left Ray open for himself. Which he wanted very badly, by the way.

That promise just so happened to also be what made the current situation so intensely infuriating. Here Ray was, his long ago discovered object of his attentions, in his bed, _at arm's reach_, and he couldn't touch him. Well, he shouldn't, anyway. How did he know that if he did indulge himself, that he wouldn't just leave himself wanting more? That would be worse than the original situation.

He let out a small growl of frustration, running a hand through his hair and pulling on it. He contemplated just waking him up so that the temptation would go away, but Ray just looked so _peaceful_ for once, so he didn't have the heart to. Plus, he did quite like watching him (as creepy as it might have sounded); the slow rhythmic rise and fall of his chest, the quiet wheezing of his breathing, the way his face was totally relaxed, all stress lines gone.

It was an endearing picture. And an absolutely irresistible one, too.

Unfortunately, Max was a man who was used to getting what he wanted, and thus had very little self-restraint. Just one cuddle wouldn't hurt, right? As long as he didn't go too far, it would be fine. Maybe it would get it out of his system so he could get over it and not be so tempted anymore. After all, he would know what it would be like now to sleep next to him, wouldn't he? If Ray woke up, he could just play it off and say he was trying to wake him up and he wouldn't (although Ray was usually a pretty light sleeper). That sounded like a safe plan, right?

Having successfully convinced himself it was okay, he laid down carefully next to him, back to the wall, watching Ray's face intently for any sign that he was waking up. There wasn't one, so he wiggled closer, until they were almost touching.

He froze in surprise when Ray shifted in his sleep, rolling onto his side so that he was facing him with a deep breath. They _were_ touching now, but it was Ray who was touching him—his hand lightly bunched in his shirt, not really gripping, but there. A small blush bloomed across Max's cheekbones, and he resisted the urge to laugh lest it wake Ray up. Well, if Ray instinctively sought him out, then he supposed he could try to push it a little further. He wrapped an arm around Ray's waist, watching for a few seconds for a reaction before pulling him to him, his head resting on the crook of Max's other arm. Ray didn't so much as stir, and Max's heart did victory leaps in his chest.

He happily snuggled closer to him, delighting in the heat radiating off his body and the comfort his closeness gave him. It was bliss. He'd just have to deal with the repercussions later, because right now, it was worth it.

.~.~.~.~.

**A/N:** Special shout out and thank you goes to Thoughtless7, who sat through all my useless drivel and wangst while I was writing this (and many future chapters, lol. Poor her). I probably would have gone and cried in a corner after erasing the last part from Max's perspective if not for her, because it was a bitch and hated coming out of my brain in a way I liked. I'm STILL not completely satisfied with it, but I'm tired of trying to fix it and not knowing how I really actually want it to go, so I'm just giving up on it and leaving it as it is. OH WELL. We all strike out sometimes, I suppose. :P You get the basic idea.

Thank you for reading~


	3. Midnight Meetings

**A/N:** Huuurgh. Late chapter is late, sorry about that. I've recently gotten a job and I'm not used to working ten+ hours a day, so when I'm not at work I've been sleeping. That doesn't allow for much computer time, unfortunately. ^^;

_**Duplicity**_

Chapter 3: Midnight Meetings

.~.~.~.~.

I was warm. In that blessed state between sleep and consciousness all I knew was that I was warm and comfortable. But something was nagging at me—something was off, different from what it should be. But what? As I was slowly pulled further away from sleep, I realized that, yes indeed, something was very wrong.

Unless it was normal for my pillow to suddenly develop a circulatory system and lungs, because it was definitely breathing, and I could faintly hear the gentle thrum of a heartbeat.

I started awake, opening my eyes to be greeted with a wide expanse of blue. I blinked for a few minutes in confusion, trying to shake the rest of the drowsiness off, and eventually realized that I was staring at Max's shirt.

Why was my face buried in Max's shirt?

I belatedly grasped that the room was dark, and Max was sleeping next to me—or, to be exact, wrapped all around me. That warmth I had been caught up in earlier must have been his body heat, I surmised, because I was pressed to his chest, his head resting above mine and his arm draped over my upper waist, holding me to him.

I flushed a little, feeling the heat well up in my face at how close we were pressed together. We must have fallen asleep and somehow ended up wrapped up in each other while we slept. I didn't understand how, though—Max was sitting on the other side of the bed last I remembered, and I knew from experience (sleepovers when we were small) that Max usually didn't move while he slept…I was the one who usually did that. But I was still in the same spot…

I shrugged it off, chalking it up as something I didn't understand and didn't really want to bother trying, and attempted to sit up. Judging by the darkness, it was pretty late, so I needed to get home…

Max didn't seem to want to let me, though, because when I moved he reflexively tightened his grip, pinning me down. I squirmed in surprise a bit, eventually gently prying his arm off (which he luckily let me do) and rolled out of the bed. Max curled back up, but he didn't seem to stir, which was good. I didn't really want to wake him this late. I fumbled around and eventually found the clock on his bedside table, and nearly gasped. It was ten to one in the morning! How did I manage to sleep so long? I hurried to grab my things, walking out the door and closing it as softly as possible.

"Ray?" A soft voice spoke from behind me, and I nearly jumped out of my skin in surprise. Luckily, I managed to control my reaction and not shout, and turned around.

"Rosalind?" I asked, seeing her looking at me curiously from the top of the stairs.

"What are you doing here so late?" she asked. She was dressed in a silky off-white nightgown that went down to just above her knees, and I fought back the heat I felt blooming in my cheeks at the sight.

"Ah, uhh, well… I-I was hanging out with Max, but I guess we both fell asleep accidentally…" I replied sheepishly, nervously averting my gaze away from her for a moment. "What are you doing up, anyway? Can't sleep?"

"Y-Yeah…" she shifted in place, clasping her hands together and gazing at the floor like she did when she was embarrassed.

"Did you run out of the medicine I gave you?" If I remembered correctly, she should have run out by now… "If you ran out, you could have asked me to make you some more."

She fidgeted a little, looking embarrassed. "Well, I forgot that I had run out, and when I remembered it was already late, so I didn't want to be a bother…" she said quietly, blushing adorably.

I chuckled. "It's no trouble, Rosalind. Would you like me to make you some?"

"Now?" she blinked, gaze snapping back to my face. "No, you don't have to do it now, I don't want to cause you so much trouble so late."

"Why not? I'm already awake," I told her, smiling. This was something I could do—go beyond what I needed to do for her health; and maybe she would think more highly of me.

"You don't have to, I can manage," she argued feebly, raising her hands in a 'stop' gesture.

"I insist. I wouldn't want you to be up all night, and it's no trouble, I promise. It doesn't take all that long to make." It honestly wasn't too complicated of a process, and I had the ingredients in the Clinic. I'd already slept for a few hours anyway, so I would probably be up for a while regardless.

She bit her lip and nodded. "A-Alright… Let me change into something more appropriate, then." She went into her room, and I waited for her awkwardly in the hallway until she came out a few minutes later, dressed in a relatively plain (for her wardrobe, anyway) white dress that went down to her ankles and sandals. "Are you sure it's no trouble?"

"It's no trouble," I replied lightheartedly. "Come on." _Score_, the little voice in the back of my mind shouted gleefully.

.~.~.~.~.

"Thank you for doing this, I really appreciate it," Rosalind whispered as I shut the door to the Clinic as softly as I could, so I didn't wake Mom or Alicia (especially Alicia, she'd have the gossip fodder of her dreams if she knew I got home so late and brought Rosalind with me on top of that).

"You're welcome. Why don't you sit down, I'll get started." She nodded, taking a seat near the pharmacy table, watching curiously as I turned on a few lights and started taking out ingredients and utensils to make the medicine with.

"Is it difficult to make?" she asked as I pulled out a small knife to start cutting apart the Lamp Grass, pulling out the parts I needed for the medicine.

"Not too difficult…" I said, glancing back at her a little nervously before turning back to the flower. "You just have to be careful with the ingredients you put in. For example," I picked up one of the little yellow stamen I had removed, the pollen falling off of it like dust onto the counter. "If you don't remove the all the pollen the medicine gets incredibly bitter. It also doesn't work so well." She nodded contemplatively, eyes returning to the counter.

"What parts of it do you use?"

"For the Lamp Grass, you use just the petals. Everything else I just throw away. It's not used for much." I dropped the parts of the flower I mentioned on some paper to make sure not too much of the powder held inside didn't fall out and went about finding and picking the leaves off of some Blue Grass. "The powder inside the petals is what helps you sleep. Other than that, you just need the leaves from the Blue Grass," I explained, washing those off and placing them on the paper with the Lamp Grass. "They're where most of the calming properties are." It was a little nerve-wracking to have her watch me, so I made sure to be extra careful so I didn't make a mistake. That would be horrifyingly embarrassing…

"I see," she said thoughtfully, and continued to watch while I finished making the medicine, producing a small bottle of clear purple-brown liquid, which was, to my relief, the correct color. It was more than I had given her before, but now that I knew it worked for her, there was no harm in giving her more dosages.

"Would you like to take some here, or at home?" I asked, handing her the bottle. She shook her head.

"At home would probably be best. I don't want to disturb your mother or sister."

"Alright," I nodded, "just remember that you only need a few drops, it's pretty strong stuff. Since it's so late already, you should probably take less than normal," I told her, opening the door for her. "Do you want me to walk you home?"

"I can manage." She smiled warmly at me, which made my heart do little somersaults. "Thank you for making this for me." She leaned in and gave me a hug, which I belatedly realized I should return (after I was done freaking out), said goodnight, and left.

I heaved a sigh, running a hand through my hair and pulling out a hair tie on accident. Why did I have to be so nervous around her? All I risked was making an idiot out of myself by doing so…

I was about to go about cleaning up the mess I made making the medicine when I heard a creak on the stairs. I looked up, and Mom was peering down at me, smiling slightly.

"What are you doing up?" I asked, slightly surprised. I thought we were being quiet enough…

"I should be asking you that." She chuckled, glancing at the door. "What did Rosalind want?"

"Just some medicine to help her sleep," I said, washing out a beaker and throwing out the remnants of the boiled plants.

"She came here and asked you to make some at this hour?" Mom asked, surprised. "That's unlike her."

"No, I insisted I make her some. I accidentally fell asleep at Max's and when I was leaving she was wandering around the house," I explained, putting things away. "I didn't want to leave her to be up all night."

"I see. That was sweet of you." I blushed a little, finishing putting everything away. Well, I honestly would have felt bad to leave her like that when there was something I could do about it, so I didn't really have a choice…besides; I wanted to go the extra mile for her. I cared about her a lot. "Well, I'm going back to bed. You should too." I nodded, following her up the stairs after turning off the lights.

Tomorrow was a new day.

.~.~.~.~.

Max was lost in bliss. Ray was so comfortably warm to hold despite the summer heat, and as he dozed, he reveled in the sensation of the gentle rise and fall of his chest as he held him. He felt so _alive_. He drank in their closeness, knowing it wouldn't last very long—surely Ray would wake soon and wiggle out of his grasp, and who knew when—or if—he would ever get a chance to do this again? He was going to milk this for all he could get.

Too soon, though, he felt Ray begin to stir, moving about in his arms. Max kept still, his eyes closed, so that it would look like he was sleeping. Maybe then he wouldn't have to explain himself, although he couldn't guarantee that Ray wouldn't ask later. He would cross that bridge when he came to it.

He couldn't resist peeking through his lashes, though, and watched as Ray slowly woke up, glancing around disoriented for a moment before looking up at him. Max kept stock still, and luckily Ray didn't seem to notice that he was awake, because he looked down, finally seeming to notice that he was being held.

He let Ray roll onto his back in his arms, but when he made to sit up, Max was struck with an irrational urge to hold him and never let him go. He didn't want him to leave, not just yet!

Ray made a small noise of surprise at being pinned down, and quickly Max realized what he was doing and loosened his grip. He was being foolish; he couldn't keep Ray with him, not without his cover being blown. Ray grabbed his wrist and gently pulled his arm off, rolling out of bed, and Max resisted the urge to whine.

Now that the warmth of having him near him was gone, Max realized that it was probably a very foolish thing to have curled up next to him in the first place. Because now he wanted more—he wanted to jump out of bed and pull Ray back into it with him, but he couldn't. He was being unreasonable in the first place, holding him like that; no matter how nice it felt while he was doing it…

He watched carefully as Ray went about the room collecting the things he had brought with him, rushing as quietly as he could out the door. Max felt a pang of remorse—it was almost as if he was running away…

But voices out in the hallway perked his attention, and he silently rolled out of bed, creeping to the door. Who would be up at this hour? Rosalind?

He opened the door a crack—something he was used to doing without sound, with all the times he had snuck out in the middle of the night for a stroll or something more mischievous—and saw that Rosalind was indeed the one up, speaking to Ray quietly.

He felt something burning in the pit of his stomach as he watched them. He shouldn't be feeling this way, he knew—Rosalind was probably the best one for Ray, and he liked her a lot. Jealousy shouldn't be there—this was his sister and best friend he was thinking about, and he shouldn't be jealous of their relationship (or potential for a relationship, anyway). He should be happy for them. He couldn't help it, though…

The dam holding in everything he had put away so he could do what he thought was best for Ray that he had been so careful to keep in good condition was falling apart at the seams, and he couldn't plug the holes up fast enough.

He had to make a choice soon, or else there would only be one he could make. Hopefully it would be the right one.

.~.~.~.~.

**A/N:** Compared to the last two, this one took forever to write. D:

And I totally made up the medicine that Ray made. Just so you know. XD

Thank you for reading~ Next chapter should be up soon, but I would looooove it if you could drop me a line and tell me what you think about this one. Love it, hate it, whatever, I'd love to hear your response. So until then, have a nice day~


	4. Absolute Disaster

**A/N: **Updating schedule? I has it. But I threw it out of the window. Why, I dunno. XD; Er, hopefully this will get updated more regularly from now on, because somehow "updating every two weeks" turned into "submit one whenever I feel like it." I'm sorry?__

_Also, someone please shoot me. I nearly submitted chapter four of the original version of this story. I have no idea. **  
**_

**_Duplicity_**

Chapter 4: Absolute Disaster

.~.~.~.~.

"You're joking," I said weakly, watching as Max laid a fishing rod against the doorframe, smiling happily at me.

"Nope! Today you're going to participate in the Fishing Contest and impress Rosalind. I already told my father that you're participating, so there's no backing out now!" He said brightly, and I resisted the growing urge to slam my head against the wall. Or Max's head. At least it wouldn't be as painful to me and be just as satisfying.

"Max, I told you I didn't want to do this! You know I'm no good at fishing!" I whined, staring at the pole like it offended me. Which it had, on many occasions. "There are plenty of other ways to get Rosalind to notice me more that don't involve embarrassing myself."

"You're not going to embarrass yourself," Max declared confidently, winking at me. I just scowled back in response. That was a lie if I ever heard one.

"Yes I am," I retorted, "there is no way I can pull off catching _anything_, much less a fish bigger than Kyle can catch. _Dorothy_ is better at it than me." And she was terrified of the fish—she freaked out whenever one came near her that was still alive and wiggling.

There was a small crash in the other room, and I jumped out of my chair, ignoring Max for the time being to check, finding Dorothy stuttering apologies while my mother picked up shards of glass. Shaking my head, I turned back to Max.

He rolled his eyes, waving off my previous comment. "Details. I know you'll catch the biggest fish anyone has ever seen, because I am going to help."

I blinked at him, raising an eyebrow. Wasn't that cheating? "Max, you can't help, that's cheating."

Max deflated a little, but didn't give up. "What they don't know won't hurt them. Come on, it'll be fun!"

"No," I replied confidently. He was not going to convince me, no matter how much he tried.

.~.~.~.~.

"This is possibly the worst idea on the face of the planet." I sighed, staring out at the sea, watching it ripple against the line in the water. After Max had come into the Clinic holding a fishing rod, I knew I was in for trouble. It was totally unfair how easily he had been able to make me go along with this. I wasn't going to admit what Max had used to convince me to agree, but it involved a lot of blackmail; particularly with things that had happened when we were younger.

Curse my girlish appearance and being friends with girls who liked to play dress-up. That was all I was going to say on the subject.

"No it's not, stop being such a kill-joy," Max said cheerfully, elbowing me lightly in the side from his place next to me on the dock. I flinched, scooting away from him a little.

"I'm not being a killjoy, I'm being realistic," I replied sourly, shifting a little on the prickly wood of the pier. It was splintery and old, worn down by the ships that came in regularly, and highly uncomfortable to sit on. "Even Barrett thought you were out of your mind." He was participating as well, and when we ran into him on the way and explained what was going on he was sending me looks that told me he was truly sorry I had been dragged into this and Max ones that clearly said he thought he was a little insane. Not that the idea was anything _new_, but I digress.

Max huffed in response. "I am not. My ideas are always brilliant and always work."

I had to laugh at that one, stifling my giggles into my arm. "Sure they do." Max fixed on me with an angry stare, looking a little insulted. "Like the time you thought it would be a good idea to try and tame a Woolly, so you could show Jake that you weren't a priss or pussy or whatever it was he called you. Or when that rumor of a ghost hanging around the front door to the Clinic was going around, and you thought you could catch it by laying a trap." My mom had ended up getting tied up in a net, and both Max and I had been grounded for _weeks_. It was horrible. "Or the time you got drunk and—"

"Alright, alright, I get the point!" Max whimpered slightly, affronted. "So my adventurous ideas don't always work. But my ideas about wooing the female species always work!" he boasted, and I rolled my eyes. "After all, I am the best at appreciating the intricate minds of women, as well as their beauty." I groaned; he was going to go off on a rant about how awesome he was in a few minutes if I didn't stop him…

"Hey Max?"

"Hmm?"

"Your ego is showing, and I'd rather not see it," I said dryly, staring despondently at the water. This was not fun, I told myself. This was totally not fun at all.

Max laughed loudly. "Well if you've got it, flaunt it!"

I groaned, burying my face in my hands. This was going to be a long day.

.~.~.~.~.

And a long day it was.

"I seriously cannot believe you haven't caught anything yet," Max whined gloomily, looking just about bored to tears, as was I. "We've been out here for hours. There's only about two hours left until my father calls time, and you haven't even gotten _one bite_. Not. One." The day had been spent mostly in silence, staring dully out at the line in the water, waiting for something to happen. Julia had dropped by at about noon, which I was relieved for—finally, a distraction—but Max shooed her away, saying something about making sure the noise level was down so that the fish wouldn't be scared away or something. I had been more than a little bit miffed at him by that point, which was growing in leaps and bounds with nearly everything he did.

I snorted, glaring at him. "I told you so. You know I'm no good at this. But no, you insisted, and didn't listen to me. You never listen to me. You just get an idea in your head and can't let go of it, no matter how idiotic it seems to everyone else." I sighed. "And then I get dragged into it anyway."

"Hey! I was just trying to help!" Max replied angrily. "Maybe you should come up with your own idea next time."

"Maybe I will!" I huffed, pulling the line out of the water. There was really no reason to keep on trying, nothing was going to happen in the next two hours if nothing had happened in the last _five_. I couldn't believe I had let Max con me into trying this… "This is pointless. I'm going home," I said curtly, handing him back his fishing pole and standing up.

"You're giving up?" Max questioned, and I was a little confused on why he sounded surprised.

"Why not? If I haven't caught anything by now, I doubt I'm going to catch anything before time is called. There's no point in just sitting here arguing with you." Max took on a crestfallen 'you're giving up on me?' kicked puppy expression, and I winced, feeling a little bad for yelling at him. "Look, I appreciate you trying to help, but playing against my skills isn't going to get me anywhere."

"Fine, I get it. I'll tell my father you're out of the running." He stood up, fishing pole in hand, stepping off the dock onto the stone of the pier and heading for the stairs, not looking at me. "You can just go on home or whatever. I'll see you later."

I heaved another sigh; Max was mad at me. I didn't see why—I should be the one mad at him for leading me on this wild goose chase to nowhere, but no, he had to be the one to get pissy. Why was he being so difficult, anyway?

.~.~.~.~.

Predictably, Kyle won the Fishing Contest. Luckily, this meant that all notice of the fact that I didn't come back with a catch despite Herman's apparent announcement that I was participating was forgotten while everyone talked about how big of a fish he had caught. Unfortunately, one of the people who were relaying the story of how massive this fish supposedly was included my sister, which meant that I heard the story multiple times, each with a different ridiculous twist to it. One was a story she made up about Kyle's epic battle with the mammoth fish, struggling to land it for hours while it fought him, but he was, in the end, victorious. Another was that he had hooked a fish that was the size of a Buffamoo, but it broke his line and got away, so he had to settle for the smaller fish he caught beforehand. It was full of bull, really; I knew from what Max told me that the biggest fish he caught was about a foot long, but it was bigger than what Barrett had caught so he had won.

It was highly annoying, really, because it was what _everyone_ talked about for the next week, even Rosalind. I had respect for Kyle, he was a good person, but it was too much to be hearing about him constantly, especially from the woman I had a crush on and I knew he liked as well.

At least Max didn't seem to be angry with me anymore, although he seemed a bit distracted whenever we spoke, like something was on his mind. He wouldn't tell me what, though, and it was frustrating me. It had to be related to me—I kept on catching him zoning out while watching me, but I didn't understand why he was doing it or why he wouldn't explain what was on his mind. I was a trustworthy person… but he kept insisting that it was nothing, so there wasn't much I could do. So I spent the rest of the summer and the beginning half of fall doing whatever I could to get Rosalind to notice me—paying extra attention to her health, spending more time with her than usual, giving her the occasional gift that Max suggested I give. Things were okay, as far as I could tell. Nothing cataclysmic had happened, anyway.

It was annoying that I whenever I spent time with him Max tended to zone out while staring me, though. "Max, you're doing it again," I said, flipping the page in the book I was reading. We were up in his room, the windows open to let in the fresh fall breeze. It was a nice change from the sweltering heat we got every summer here in Alvarna, even if it carried the chill I knew was coming soon.

Max half-jumped to attention, quickly looking away. "Ah, sorry…"

I snapped my book closed, leaning forward to face him properly. "Why can't you tell me what's on your mind?" Honestly, he was worrying me. He'd been acting weird for a while now, but wouldn't explain himself at all.

"Why do you keep insisting that there's something on my mind?" he asked evasively, and I rolled my eyes.

"You've been acting weird a lot recently. I keep catching you staring at me. There has to be something bothering you."

He chuckled, but I could tell that it was fake. "There's nothing bothering me, Ray." He slid off the bed, stretching.

"Max—"

"I'm going for a walk, do you want to come?" he asked quickly, cutting me off. I frowned, growling internally; he'd been avoiding all my questions like that for a while now, and it was getting on my nerves. Why couldn't he just spit it out? I wasn't his best friend for nothing, and I didn't like that he seemed to be keeping things from me. Whatever it was, it was bothering him a lot, and I wanted to know what it was!

"Sure," I grumbled, slipping off the bed and leaving my book there. I could get it back later. Maybe during this walk I'd be able to extract something from him.

.~.~.~.~.

We were strolling through Cherry Blossom Square when I thought the mood had calmed enough for me to ask him again what was on his mind. "Is there anything you want to tell me, Max?" I asked, glancing at him. He seemed a bit fidgety, at least more so than he had been back in his room.

Max seemed to half jump in surprise, peeking at me in the corner of his eye before focusing off in the distance. "No, why?"

I groaned audibly, getting really frustrated. "Yes there is. You've been fidgety and distracted around me for a long time now, and whenever I ask you about it you either avoid my questions or brush me off. It's really starting to get on my nerves," I replied honestly, and Max's nervousness seemed to escalate. "Just tell me what it is and get it over with."

"I promise you, it's nothing! Nothing is worrying me," he assured me, sending a smile my way. I didn't buy it. We passed through North Square, and he turned, heading for the Park.

"Max…" I said warningly, stepping ahead of him to try and stop him as we rounded the fountain. "That is a lie and you know it."

"No it's not," he protested, ignoring my attempts to get in front of him. Finally he stopped, and I jumped in front of him, blocking his path.

"Yes it is, so tell me what's going on!" He completely ignored me, staring distractedly at something from over my shoulder. I growled; this was absolutely infuriating! Why couldn't he just spit it out and get it over with?

"Ah, uh…Ray?"

"What?" I asked crossly, crossing my arms with a huff.

"Look." He pointed behind me, and I quickly turned to look in the direction he was. What I saw made my heart stop.

.~.~.~.~.

**A/N:** MUHAHA ebil cliffhanger. XD -shot- Well, those of you who read this the first time probably know what he saw anyway, but that's not all of you~


	5. Hidden Agendas

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**A/N: **I just wanted to say thank you to my anonymous reviewers! While I can't reply to you directly, I greatly appreciate you taking the time to review, like I do all my reviewers. ^^ Thanks so much~

To answer the question about me writing a Kyle/Rosalind fic: maybe someday. I don't have any solid ideas on a fic with that pairing as the main focus, but I'm not at all opposed to writing one. That's right folks, Kitsune no Tora isn't a one trick pony who only writes yaoi, haha. XD I'll think about it, and if something strikes me, I will.

Also, EXTRA LONG CHAPTER YAAAAY because I could not find an appropriate place in my normal length to stop. XD

_**Duplicity**_

Chapter 5: Hidden Agendas

.~.~.~.~.

"Ah, uh…Ray?"

"What?" I asked crossly, crossing my arms with a huff.

"Look." He pointed behind me, and I quickly turned to look in the direction he was. What I saw made my heart stop.

"…Huh?" was all I could manage to say as I slowly comprehended the scene before me. Kyle was getting up from being on one knee, watching me warily as he held one of Rosalind's hands—her other clutching a giant bouquet of beautiful red roses, tied with a ribbon that matched. We were close enough so that I could see that there were tears in her eyes, making them glitter in the sunlight. I blinked rapidly a few times, staring in confusion before it finally dawned on me.

Rosalind's dream proposal was to have a bouquet of a hundred roses presented to her by her love. So then that meant… it meant…that…

That Kyle had just proposed to her, and judging by how tightly she held his hand and how he had wrapped an arm around her waist upon seeing my reaction, she had…accepted…

…No way… but… I thought…

The world seemed to slow down to a stop, and I barely noticed Max grabbing me by the elbow and pulling me away, down onto the pier, until we were already there. I clutched desperately to his sleeve until we came to a stop on the dock, barely realizing that I was shaking.

"W-What…what…" What was that? Why… why did… Max pulled me into a hug, shushing me, and I instinctively clutched at the fur of his coat for balance. It felt like I was going to fall over, I couldn't understand it, I couldn't comprehend it.

Kyle had proposed to Rosalind, before I even knew that their relationship had gotten that far. I had no idea. I thought…I thought I still had a chance…and I tried so hard… I tried so hard to get her to understand what I thought of her, to will up my courage, and still, it was useless… I didn't even get to the point of telling her that I liked her…

And now she was engaged to Kyle.

Max held me tighter, and I buried my face into his shoulder, finally realizing that I was crying. I wondered when had I started doing that, but it didn't matter.

Rosalind didn't love me like I loved her. I had lost her. I didn't try hard enough, I didn't act fast enough, I wasn't charming or kind or generous or _anything enough_, because she had chosen Kyle before I had even the chance to tell her what I felt, before I had a chance for anything.

And it hurt. It hurt so much.

.~.~.~.~.

The sun was setting over the ocean, splitting it in two from my vantage point. To my right was the sunset, blazing bright oranges and reds and yellows dying the sky magnificently, stretching across the water as it paled, melting into softer yellows and greens and blues until it reached the other side of the horizon, which was rapidly turning a darker and darker purple as the light faded away.

My breath would have been taken away by it if it wasn't already by something much less wonderful. I would have called it absolutely beautiful if I wasn't feeling absolutely miserable. It felt like my heart had been ripped in two like the sky, but instead also smashed to bits with a sledgehammer, and then ground into the dirt and spit on.

It was painful. My chest ached, my head throbbed from crying, and I just felt so generally awful. My hands were starting to get a little numb from the cold and from them being clenched into fists for so long, but I ignored it, staring dully over my knees out onto the water from my seat curled up on the dock. At least Max was still there—he was seated beside me, so close our thighs were touching, his hand pressed to my back soothingly as he had been once I had finally stopped crying. It was comforting having him there, honestly—although it didn't do much to dull anything, at least he was there. At least he cared.

"How are you feeling?" he eventually asked quietly, shifting so that he was facing me, cross-legged on the dock.

I resisted the urge to snort in derision—he didn't deserve my anger—and instead buried my face in my knees, shivering and managing a muffled and hoarse "awful."

"Thought so," he whispered, and I proceeded to ignore him as he started shuffling around, until I felt a weight drape across my shoulders and saw white fall around me from the corner of my eyes. I looked up, and discovered Max had given me his coat—it was soft and warm, he took good care of it despite how often he wore it, and it kept his body heat. I could feel it taking a bit of the chill of the evening away, but it didn't offer much comfort otherwise. I didn't think anything really would have at this point.

I instinctively pulled it closer anyway, moving so I was sitting cross-legged like Max was instead of in the fetal position. It wasn't a very comfortable way to sit, anyway.

"Why did this happen, Max?" I asked with a detached sigh, not really expecting much of an answer. What would he know? "Why did Kyle end up being who Rosalind wanted but not me? I thought… I thought…" I thought that we were the ones meant to be together, not them. This wasn't how it was supposed to be, how things were supposed to end up.

"I suppose… I suppose it wasn't meant to be, Ray. I'm sorry," he replied, rubbing soothing circles into my back. "It'll be okay, though. You'll find someone else, I know it." His voice was all too confident, all too cheerful. It spiked up the anger that was slowly boiling under the surface; my anger at Kyle and Rosalind and the world and _myself _for what had happened, for not being able to stop it or even do anything about it at all.

"There isn't anyone else. No one, Max. I don't—didn't—want anyone else," I retorted bitterly. Max sighed, and it sounded condescending, like I was a child who didn't understand the ways of the world. It made me want to punch him, but I didn't. I'd feel bad about it afterwards; no matter how good it would feel to do it. He didn't deserve it, really; it wasn't his fault this happened… I felt too lethargic to try it, anyway.

The proposal I had seen kept replaying itself in my head, over and over. It definitely was one of Rosalind's dream proposals—I recognized the flowers easily because I had looked them up myself just in case. Gescule roses… Rosalind's favorite kind. She once told me when we were little that her fantasy proposal was for her knight in shining armor to sweep her off her feet with a giant bouquet of them. She had gotten her wish, for the most part…

But something was bothering me, a little nagging feeling in the back of my mind that something didn't add up. But what? Kyle had somehow figured out one of Rosalind's dream proposals—probably from Julia, or maybe my sister—got the flowers, and proposed. I bit my lip, trying to figure out what it was. …The roses, maybe? What about them?

I thought back to what I had learned about them when I looked them up. Those roses…they were her favorite for a reason—besides being beautiful, they were rare and prized.

That was when I realized it. Where would Kyle, _a farmer_, get the resources to buy the flowers or even find the seeds for them, and get so many of them? I knew they were very outrageously priced, well above my price range even with help, from when I had looked them up for future reference… How had Kyle managed to get them?

…Unless… I stiffened, suddenly realizing what must have happened. Max—ohh, I sooooo wanted to punch him now—must have noticed, because he stopped rubbing my back.

"What is it?" he asked, and I slowly turned my head to look at him. I couldn't believe it. Had Max really gone behind my back like that? There was only one way to find out…

"Those roses," I said, narrowing my eyes. "Where did Kyle get them?" His eyes widened, and I noticed as his breathing hitched before he covered it up, fixing me with a confused and innocent stare.

"I have no idea," he lied, and it was so obvious, it made my blood boil. He did! He gave them to Kyle so he could propose! He… he…

"Liar! You gave them to him, didn't you?" I accused him, outraged and hurt and feeling absolutely betrayed. I pushed him away from me, scooting back. Max flinched and recoiled, and I had my answer. "I…I can't believe it! You did! YOU DID!"

"Ray—"

"How could you do that? You knew! You knew how I felt, and you…you helped Kyle!"

"Ray, listen—" He went to grab my arm, but I smacked it away

"No! I don't want your excuses!" I shouted at him, feeling so incredibly angry I was shaking, my hands clenched into fists, just a hair's width away from striking him. How could he do that? He went behind my back, helped Kyle while he was supposedly helping me, and… and… and now Rosalind was out of my reach, because of him!

"Ray, listen to me!" he insisted, making to grab my wrists. I fought back, and it resulted in a wrestling match while I tried to push him away. He was stronger than I anticipated, though, and before I knew it he had me pinned down, his weight straddling my hips while he held my arms to the prickly wood of the dock. I tried to move to buck him off, but he didn't even budge.

"Let go of me!" I demanded, trying to move my legs to knee him, anything to get him off, but he sat directly on my thighs, preventing me from moving.

"No, so calm down for a second! I'm not letting go until you calm down and listen to me." I didn't want to listen; I didn't want to hear anything he had to say. It was his fault I was hurting this way, his fault this happened… "Ray, please, I need you to listen to me," he pleaded, but I didn't want to hear it, didn't want to look up at him, because I knew I would have to once I did. It was his fault that everything fell apart, so why did he deserve my attention? He didn't have the right…

I shook my head, squirming uncomfortably in his grasp. He wasn't exactly heavy, but being sat on wasn't all that comfortable, especially by someone who I would rather not have any contact with at the moment. I just wanted to get away, curl up in my bed and sleep for a week and wallow in my own misery.

"Get off," I said firmly once I had gained better control over myself, keeping my eyes closed so I wouldn't have to look at him, so that he couldn't convince me to listen.

"No," he said back just as forcefully, leaning forward, pushing my hands into the dock, which luckily were still covered by his coat and cushioned from the splintery wood. I did not fancy slivers. "Ray, look at me. I need—no, you need—to hear what I have to say."

I shook my head, feeling tears prick at the corners of my eyes again. "Please?" he asked quietly, and he sounded so desperate I forgot about trying to not look at him and opened my eyes. His face was hovering over mine, maybe a little too close for comfort considering the circumstances, hair falling around his face like a curtain dyed dark in the twilight. His expression was so hurt and desperate it made my chest twist into knots even more, and I hated it.

"Fine," I heard myself say before I decided it, and I bit my cheek. I should not feel guilty, why was he able to make _me_, the one he hurt, feel guilty? That was hardly fair!

"There is a reason I gave Kyle those flowers to propose with," he began, and when I opened my mouth to tell him any reason he gave me was bull (I decided feeling guilty was not the way to go and switched back to anger) he shushed me, somehow managing to grasp both my wrists with one of his hands and cover my mouth with the other. "Just listen to me, Ray. This is important." I frowned, but obliged. It wasn't as if I had much of a choice in the matter.

"Look… the main reason I gave Kyle those flowers and helped him to propose is that I know for a fact that Rosalind has no romantic feelings for you at all. She never has—she only thought of you as a friend." I narrowed my eyes, trying to send him the dirtiest look I could muster. How could he know? Did he ask? "…A couple of weeks ago, during the summer, really, I asked Rosalind what she thought of Kyle. She went on and on about how wonderful he was; all the things he had given her, things he had said to her, jobs he had done for her, and places he had taken her. She mentioned finding him attractive and even-" he snorted in amusement, "called him _sexy._ …Regardless, I could tell she thought extremely highly of him. When I asked her later how she felt about you, do you know what she said?" He paused, watching me carefully, and I shook my head. I wasn't sure I even wanted to hear it, after that… just that hurt enough.

I knew it wouldn't match up. I didn't want to hear it, because in some way, it would make it more real, make it so I couldn't ignore it. "She said 'What's there to say? He's…Ray. He's a good friend, and a good doctor.'"

Max removed his hand from my mouth and I bit my lip, closing my eyes as I felt the tears well up again. This wasn't fair. Why did things have to happen this way? Why was I so unlucky? Why couldn't anything ever happen how I wanted? "It was her choice, Ray. I couldn't try and prevent her from what she wanted. You were going to get hurt either way; and I decided to help speed it along to prevent you from getting too deep before it happened. I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I had no choice," he said softly, but I didn't look at him, keeping my eyes shut. I didn't want to look at him. I wanted to be angry at him; I wanted to push him off while his guard was down and yell and scream and cry, but I couldn't.

It felt like everything had been drained out of me, every ounce of strength gone from too many holes being punched in it like a leaky bucket.

"I wanted to make sure you wouldn't suffer too much… you already were, trying so hard to get her to notice you without any reward. I was done watching that, Ray, I couldn't stand watching you do that anymore." He sat up, letting go of my wrists and getting off of me, but I didn't move. "So that's why."

Silence stretched on between us, and eventually I opened my eyes, staring out at the sky. The stars were just starting to peek out, glittering off in the distance. It was almost cruel. I couldn't even bring myself to be as mad at Max as I wanted to, because, while it was painful, what he said _made sense_. I couldn't blame him for it, no matter how much it hurt and how much I wanted to. I _was_ still mad at him, of course, but I understood.

The only one I could be truly angry with was myself. Because, in the end, I was the one whose emotions were on the line, and the one who put them there in the first place. Max's first responsibility was to his sister, not me. He had to do what was right by her. I couldn't blame him for that. I exhaled and sat up, feeling absolutely drained.

Talk about a worst day ever. What else could possibly go wrong?

"Ray?" Max called, and I looked up, finding that he was picking at his hand and grimacing.

"What is it?" I asked, and his gaze flickered up to me and back to his hand.

"I have a sliver," he whined, holding his hand up so I could see. Well, I could try to see, but it was entirely too dark to even try. I sighed. I really wasn't surprised.

"You deserve it, for pinning me down like that." I smirked, standing up and dusting myself off. At least I was splinter free—his coat protected me for the most part. He sputtered, stumbling when I tossed him his coat after standing up as well.

"It wasn't like I had much of a choice, the way you were reacting…" he grumbled, and I shot him a glare, which quickly shut him up. It made me feel a little better, at least.

"Come on. I can't see anything out there, and if you leave that in there it'll get infected."

"…So you're not mad at me?" he asked timidly as we started walking, and I turned around to look at him.

"I am," I answered honestly, "but I understand why you did it. It doesn't make it any better, but…I understand."

He smiled at me. "Well, that's a start."

I nodded, leading him to the Clinic.

.~.~.~.~.

"Hold still," I chastised, trying to keep his arm still while I picked out the slivers with tweezers. He wasn't being very cooperative, though, which was grating on my nerves. "If you don't hold still, I'll pinch you."

"But it huuuuurts…" he whined, and I resisted the urge to actually pinch him—it had originally been an empty threat, but maybe if I did, he'd shut up and stop moving.

"It'll hurt more if you don't let me get it out the first try, because then I'll have to dig for it with a needle. So suck it up." He blanched a little at the idea and nodded, to my relief.

I got done quickly (and luckily only had to dig for one, even though Max hated every second of it), and set the tweezers down to give his hand an once-over. "Do you feel any more?"

"No."

"Good," I replied, starting to put things away. Max stayed in his seat, and I eventually looked up to ask why he wasn't leaving when the expression on his face made me stop. I recognized it to be the jumpy nervousness he had been plagued with earlier today, before everything happened…

I was about to ask what was wrong when he spoke up. "Ray…there's something else I have to tell you."

Great, another ground-breaking revelation? I groaned internally and slouched in my seat; I thought I already had my fill for the next year or two… But the serious apprehension in his expression made the small part of me that wasn't still mad and—annoyingly—loyal to him want to know; what could possibly be bothering him so much, even now? I had attributed his nervousness from before to the fact that he had went behind my back, but we had already discussed it, so what else could there possibly be?

"Might as well get it over with…what is it?" I sighed, watching him carefully. But he wasn't looking at me, instead looking off at nothing to my right.

"There's…another reason why I decided to help Kyle without your knowledge. To be truthful, I was hoping you wouldn't notice at all, but that didn't work out…" he said tentatively, seeming to struggle to decide something. What it was, I had no idea.

I guess he eventually decided, though, because after a lengthy pause he let out a breath and looked straight at me. My breath hitched in my throat—his look was, for a lack of a better description, smoldering with emotion. Before I could react he was leaning close, _too close_, face inches from mine. I tried to lean back in surprise, but was trapped by the chair. "I decided to make sure Rosalind went with Kyle because I wanted you for myself. I didn't want you to go to anyone else when I had a way to prevent it." I froze in place, and before I knew what was happening he had closed the gap, pressing his lips to mine. It was soft and tentative and rather chaste, but I could still feel the passion behind it, like a little spark that passed through us.

Once I got a hold on the situation I gasped in surprise, jumping back and nearly toppling over backwards in my chair. My heart felt like it was about to leap out of my chest in panic as I tried to wrap my head around his words and the kiss. A kiss! He kissed me!

"W-W-What?" I stammered, flailing about internally, flabbergasted. But…Max was a guy! Male! And so was I!

"It…It's okay if you d-don't feel the same way. I just thought you should know, but… you obviously only had eyes for my sister…" he said timidly, his voice cracking slightly. He stood up—nearly knocking the chair over in his haste— and rolled his sleeves back down before quickly throwing his coat over his shoulders. I watched him, in complete shock and unable to make myself do anything, not even think properly, as he strode to the door. His movements were stilted, like he was resisting the urge to just run off. "I pray that you'll forgive me… but I guess couldn't help myself. …I'm sorry." And before I could react, he was gone, the door slamming shut with an empty sound.

It wasn't like I would have been able to stop him, or even _think_ about doing so (and I didn't know why I wanted to stop him in the first place, besides) before he was long gone—my feet seemed to have glued themselves to the floor and my butt to my seat, all train of thought derailed.

Max, my best friend…loved me? As in, more than a friend?

_What?_

.~.~.~.~.


	6. Tension and Heartache

**A/N:** Ohey, look, another extra long chapter! XD; I seem to have problems finding an appropriate place to stop…

_**Duplicity**_

Chapter 6: Tension and Heartache

.~.~.~.~.

He screwed up. There was no mistaking it; he just screwed up his relationship with the most important person in his life because he couldn't keep himself contained. Ray had to hate him now, or at the very least be absolutely disgusted by him. His reaction was proof enough.

Max had messed up royally, and he had absolutely no idea what to do. He didn't want to lose Ray—really, that was the absolute last thing he wanted to have happen—but he didn't know how to fix it, fix this mistake that was his own feelings and his inability to keep them where they belonged: locked away. It wasn't right. Ray was his best friend, his best childhood friend, the only real close friend he had; the only one who understood him at least a little bit and could deal with all his eccentricities on a day to day basis without getting angry or outwardly tired of him.

He didn't want to lose him because he was selfish and let his hopes get the better of him. Of course Ray wouldn't feel the same, he liked Rosalind. Max doubted even the concept of being attracted to him in that way ever even crossed Ray's mind.

This was terrible. What was he supposed to do now? How could he ever even begin to try and fix this mess he had created because he was foolhardy and too full of hopes and fantasies that could never come true? This wasn't just something that could be fixed by throwing some money and a bright smile at like he usually did, or by blackmail or conniving tactics or anything he was used to.

He'd just _kissed_ Ray. And he had no idea what to do now, if there _was _anything he could do.

When he found himself in this sort of situation, there was one place he would almost always find himself at. It was just like his legs just took him there—he never made any conscious decision to go there. He just _went_.

He opened the door to the bath house, quickly spotting Julia sitting at the table across from the woman's bath, humming to herself as she ground some herbs with a mortar and pestle for her soap.

"Julia?" he called out tentatively, feeling his emotions lump in his throat.

"Hmm? Oh, hello Max, it's nice to see you!" she looked up and smiled brightly, which quickly turned into a concerned frown at his expression. "Is something wrong?"

"I need to talk to you…" he replied, his voice cracking slightly, eyes darting meaningfully to the stairs up to her living quarters.

Julia's bath house was always a safe haven for him when he messed up. And this time, he had messed up royally.

.~.~.~.~.

I moaned quietly to myself, sitting up in bed and rubbing my eyes. The night had ultimately been a restless waste—I couldn't get my mind to calm down enough to relax, much less sleep. And every time I had finally managed to at least doze, I was jolted awake by the either the image of Kyle's proposal to Rosalind or Max's expression when he—

Okay, I wasn't going to think about that. I didn't really want to. I wasn't ready to try and figure that out. This was just too much, on top of all the mental and emotional damage I had received yesterday, I got next to no sleep as well.

And the thing was, even now, I was more surprised by the kiss than anything. For whatever reason, the fact that he kissed me didn't really bother me that much, it was the fact that he kissed me and I didn't really mind that he did (other than the whole complete surprise factor) that bothered me. And I really didn't know what to think about that.

I flopped back onto my pillow, dreading getting up. I didn't want to work today—the only thing I wanted to do was lie in bed and wallow in my misery. I had lost my chance with the woman I love and now she was soon to be married to my friend. My best friend came out of the closet and professed that he loved _me_ of all people and _helped_ the two of them get together because of it, and then kissed me, and _I didn't mind that he did_. It was probably too much to swallow for a whole season or two, much less one night.

I would fake sick, but being related to a doctor made such an idea out of the question. I wouldn't even be able to fool myself with such an idea, much less my mother.

Speaking of mothers…she was now knocking at my door, yelling at me to get up. I shouted back that I was awake—honestly, did she have to knock so loudly?—and heaved myself out of bed. Today was going to be fun…

Once out into the kitchen, I poured myself a nice big cup of my morning staple—coffee with 'enough sugar to choke a child with a whole mouth of sweet teeth,' as Alicia had once put it, although it really wasn't _that_ sweet…to me, anyway—and sat at the table, definitely not ready to start work. Mom must have been downstairs, since I didn't see her anywhere, but soon Alicia came out of her room, humming cheerfully.

"Good morning Ray," she said, rounding the table to get to the fridge.

"Good morning…" I replied irritably, sipping some of my coffee, hoping it would wake me up some more—or at least make it so I could decently function.

"Did you hear the news?" she asked, pouring herself a glass of milk and sitting at the table with an apple and an excited grin, "Kyle proposed to Rosalind yesterday afternoon! They're getting married in a few days; Max is supposed to announce the date tonight."

This sip of coffee I had been swallowing at that moment proceeded to go down the wrong way, and I choked, nearly spitting it out.

"Whoa, are you okay?" she asked, concerned, but I raised my hand to stop her, coughing violently.

"F-Fine…" I managed to force out between coughs. She just had to bring that up, didn't she? She was good friends with Rosalind, and I never told her about my crush, so I guess it wasn't her fault… but still! Just the mention of the proposal made my chest ache and my throat burn—although it was burning in more ways than that now.

"Anyway," she continued once I had finished coughing and resumed trying to drink my coffee without drowning, trying to send her the message that I really didn't want to discuss this to no avail, "I'm so thrilled; the wedding is going to be spectacular! Herman did always throw amazing parties… I can't wait to—hey, is something wrong? You look…awful. Other than the nearly choking to death thing a minute ago."

"It's called fatigue, Alicia, look it up sometime," I snapped, definitely not in the mood to deal with her. I loved my sister and all, but she was just too much sometimes. Especially when she was talking about such a hurtful topic like it was nothing…

"Hey, no reason to snap at me! Why are you in such a bad mood, anyway?" she huffed, scowling at me.

"Like I said, I didn't sleep well, and you're not helping my mood at all at the moment," I replied, finishing off my coffee. "So if you don't mind, could you please leave me alone?"

Alicia frowned at me, put off, but didn't budge. I sent warning glares her way, but she ignored them, much to my frustration. Why couldn't she just go away and leave me alone?

"Jeez, are you on your man-period or something?" she grumbled, and I had the urge to throw my coffee cup at her.

Just then, Alicia's expression changed—the one someone would get once they've figured out a particularly hard puzzle, a proverbial light bulb going off above their heads. "Oh, I get it… you're upset because you liked Rosalind, right?" I nearly choked; she hit the nail right on the head. She—annoyingly—brightened more at my reaction, realizing that she was right. "Hey, I'm right, aren't I? You liked Rosalind!"

I snorted, shaking my head. "Congratulations, you have found out my deepest darkest secret," I said dryly, keeping my voice a level monotone. Wow, it only took until it was too late for her to figure it out. What a gossip she was.

"No way!" she gasped, nearly tipping over her glass of milk. "I can't believe it. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Why, exactly, do you think I would I tell _you_?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "You're the biggest gossip in town. No one would tell you anything unless they wanted _everyone_ to know in the next two hours." And I didn't want anyone to know, that was why the only person I told was… Max. I winced internally; I still had no idea how I was going to handle the whole situation with Max…

Why did love have to be such a difficult thing?

"Hey, I resent that!" she argued, "A good gossip knows what secrets they can tell and when. I can keep a secret!"

"Sure you can," I said sarcastically, and she glowered at me, affronted by the comment.

"Jeez. I'm really hoping this doesn't happen to you again, little brother, if you're going to act like this. You don't have to pick a fight," she grumbled, taking a bite of her apple and turning away. "I was just asking."

"Well, don't," I retorted, standing up. I needed more coffee… "I really don't want to talk about it right now."

"Why not? Maybe talking will make you feel better."

"Alicia…" I said warningly, putting the coffee pot back on the stove. "It just happened yesterday. I _saw_ him propose; Max and I were walking through the Park and saw the whole thing. I do not want to talk about it right now." It still hurt too much—my chest was already tight and I felt like I might start crying again, which I _did not want to do_, especially in front of Alicia. I was tired and cranky and upset and talking about it this so soon was not going to do anything but make me even more upset.

"Wait, you saw them? Wow…" she grimaced, before giving me a thoughtful look as I sat back down with my fresh cup. I was just about to ask her what she might be scheming when her face broke into a grin. Too late, she was already done scheming; now it was time to brace for impact. "Hmm… wait, I know!" She jumped up from her chair, dashing into her room. She was back in a few seconds, holding her crystal ball and smiling widely.

What, did she think a fortune would cheer me up? "Alicia, I don't want you to read my—"

"Yes you do! I know you do, because I'm psychic, remember? It'll cheer you up, I know it," she said quickly, cutting me off. She put the crystal ball on the table between us and sat down. I groaned; I did not want a fortune! Her fortunes were almost always wrong anyway, so why would that cheer me up?

And I voiced that notion. "Alicia, everyone knows you can't actually read the future. How is something that I know could be false supposed to cheer me up?"

"Shush you, my readings are not fake!" she argued, ticked off. "And I'm not doing a reading on your future, I'm doing a love reading. After all, someone else might like you and you wouldn't even know it. And what's better to mend a broken heart than that?" she smiled, and I sighed, deflated. She was going to do it whether or not I wanted her to, and she seemed like she genuinely wanted to make me feel better, and thought this would, so I figured what the harm could be in letting her do it. At least she would probably leave me alone to wallow in my misery afterwards… "Okay, okay, if you insist. Get it over with then…"

"Alright!" she shouted, smiling. "Let's get started then…" She held her hands above the ball, her eyes sliding closed. "Holly halla, jimmy la la, wahala!" she chanted, moving her hands around it, the smoke swirling around inside it.

I had to admit, she had gotten a lot better with her show since the last time I had seen it, it was decently impressive, even if I knew the mechanics behind why the smoke was swirling. I could see why she fooled some of the girls in town, anyway.

She paused, hands still over the ball, the smoke coming to a stop as well. Her eyes were open, and she was staring intently at it, as if she were deciphering whatever message she might have seen—or not seen—inside it. I waited patiently for her to tell me whatever she saw, sipping my coffee, but she just sat there, slowly looking more and more confused.

"What is it?" I asked curiously. Why was she looking so puzzled? She jumped slightly, attention snapping back to me, still looking a bit confused. "Something wrong?"

"N-No…" she said, shaking her head. "I'm just not…this one is a little odd…maybe I should try again."

That was weird, she never did that…

She tried again, repeating her chant and making the smoke swirl around again. It must have been the same result, because she still had the same confused expression when she stared into the crystal again.

"Well…?" I asked, watching her intently. What could she possibly be confused about? Did her imagination break or something? I laughed internally at the thought.

"Umm… well, I did get something… although it's not what I expected…" she trailed off, gaze flickering from the crystal ball to me and back again. "Did something happen between you and Max?"

I froze in surprise, nearly spilling my drink on myself. The confession and kiss flashed through my mind. What? How…what would she know about that? I tried to recover quickly, taking a moment to sip my drink to collect myself before responding. I didn't trust my voice at that moment. "Why?" I asked eventually.

"Well…he seems to be in a lot of emotional turmoil…and it's directed at you. I can't even get a flicker from any of the girls in town, his is drowning everything else out…" she said thoughtfully, watching me intently, which made me squirm uncomfortably. "Did something happen between you two?"

Crap crap crap. What was I supposed to say? I couldn't tell her what happened, that would be an absolute disaster. I didn't even know whatto _think _about the whole situation, let alone have a way or want to explain it… I swallowed thickly, my mouth suddenly very dry.

"W-We… had a fight," I nervously admitted eventually, not being able to come up with anything else. It was true, anyway. "He… he helped Kyle propose, and I found out, so…"

Alicia made a small 'ohh' sound, but still continued to watch me. "Is there anything else?"

"No…" I said evasively, hoping she would drop it. I was a terrible liar, and I knew it, but I hoped she would just take that and leave.

"If you say so…" she responded, and I let out a sigh of relief that she luckily didn't notice—her focus was back on that crystal ball again. But she didn't say anything else, eventually standing up and picking it up to take it with her.

"Well, if you have anything you want to talk to me about, you can…" she said quietly, glancing back at me as she headed for the stairs.

"Yeah I know," I told her, although I severely doubted I would ever take up the offer. "Uh, bye."

"See you later."

Well, if that wasn't awkward and confusing…how exactly did she figure out that there was something going on? She couldn't have seen it in that silly crystal ball…could she?

…Nah. I certainly hope not, anyway…maybe she met up with Max after the… the 'incident' as I decided to now refer to it as, and figured it had to do with me. That must have been it…

.~.~.~.~.

Work was an absolute chore that day. I could tell that Mom definitely noticed that I was a little off and very tired by the way she was watching me, but she didn't say anything, and neither did Dorothy. The fact that I still couldn't stop thinking about Rosalind and Max definitely didn't help my already waning concentration, either. When the day was finally nearly over, I was so relieved to be done; all I wanted to do was just crawl back into bed and sleep until the end of time.

I was finishing cleaning up the pharmacy table when someone knocked on the door.

"Come in!" Mom shouted, and I heard the door open and shut, although I didn't turn around to see who it was. I wasn't all that interested, and the faster I finished cleaning up, the faster I could go upstairs and rest.

"Good afternoon," the visitor greeted, and I nearly dropped the beaker I was holding. It was Max! I forced myself to not freeze up or react, and continued cleaning up (although I was pretty much done) even while my heartbeat sped up as I panicked. What was he doing here, so soon? Besides having to help Rosalind with her…wedding, I didn't expect him to show up at my door so soon…I wasn't ready to try and face him yet. I was still not happy with him for helping Kyle, and that was beside the fact that I still didn't even know what to think about the 'incident'…

"Hello, Max. Did you need something?" Mom said eventually when I didn't turn around.

"I'm just here to deliver something. Here," he replied, and I heard shuffling as he handed her the item. "It's the invitation to my sister's wedding. The date is the 26th; I hope you all will come." I could feel him watching me, his eyes boring into my back, but I didn't turn around. I didn't want to see him…

"Oh of course!" Mom gushed, opening the letter. "We wouldn't miss it for the world. Thank you, we'll be sure to be there."

"Great! Well, I should be on my way. I still have to give the rest of the invitations out. Have a nice evening."

"You too, goodbye," Mom replied, and I heard the door open and shut again. I relaxed, releasing a breath I didn't realize I had been holding. That was tense… I finished putting everything away, and when I turned around, Mom was watching me.

Uh oh… I braced for an interrogation, she definitely knew something was up now; I never ignored Max when he came in…

"What's going on? Did you and Max have a big fight or something?" I flinched, there it was. "You're both looking worse for wear, and you ignored him the whole time he was here."

"Sort of…" I replied nervously, scratching the back of my neck.

"'Sort of'? That didn't look like a 'sort of' fight, Ray."

I sighed, really not feeling up to trying to explain it to her, and wanting her to know even less. "Well, maybe not. Don't worry about it, Mom, I can handle it…" At least I hoped so.

Max was my best friend. And I didn't know what to do now that he tried to change that—whether I was willing to try and accept the change or keep things the way they were. I wasn't over Rosalind, either, so I really didn't know what to think…how did I feel about him, anyway? Could I think of him in any other way? Was it even possible?

.~.~.~.~.

**A/N:** I hate this chapter so much. D: SO. MUCH. -eats it- It took me nearly 3 weeks to get it done. 3 weeks! -dies- Evil little thing… I guess in-between chapters are like that sometimes. :/ Oh well. Thanks for reading! Chapter 7 should be up at the normal time~


	7. Wedded Bliss, or not

_**Duplicity**_

Chapter 7: Wedded Bliss…not!

.~.~.~.~.

Before I knew it, the 26th had rolled around. To say I was dreading the event was an understatement, and as I got up and dressed for the day, the feeling just got worse and worse.

It felt like someone had stuck a knife in my chest and was slowly pushing it further and further in, twisting it for good measure.

But I had to go. I had no excuse not to—I was healthy, so faking sick was out. And besides the fact that Kyle was my friend, Rosalind was my _childhood friend_, a person I had known since I was a baby and played with all the time when I was a child, so not going to her wedding was probably akin to killing someone or something.

Besides…I loved her. I honestly did. To not go to her wedding would probably make me feel worse than subjecting myself to the torture of going, because eventually (hopefully, anyway) things would fade as time went on, and I would regret it later, I knew it. Not seeing her on what should be the happiest day of her life would be something that would haunt me forever, all lingering feelings aside.

So I went. Alicia was excited enough for both of us, anyway. As soon as we stepped out of the house she grabbed my hand and proceeded to practically drag me to the Park, where the main celebration was being held.

And I had to say, while I knew Herman knew how to throw a party, he held nothing back for his daughter's wedding. The Park was absolutely gorgeous. Flowers of every color were everywhere—tied with colorful ribbons to lampposts, statues, across any available surface you could possibly tie something to. All around the fountain there were rows of richly-covered tables filled with all sorts of food—more food than I could ever imagine being needed to feed Rosalind's extensive family, but considering her father's eating habits, I could probably expect it to be mostly gone by the end of the evening. Cecilia and whoever helped her must have been cooking for days.

Alicia let go of me when she got distracted by some sort of dish. I wasn't very interested in eating, so I wandered off, hoping to find someplace to be where I wouldn't be found and bothered by anyone I knew. I was familiar with some of Rosalind and Max's family, particularly their grandparents—their grandmother was a sweet talkative old lady while their grandfather was rather quiet and a bit of an enigma—and I really would rather not have to deal with them fawning over their grandchild getting married and all that. I didn't think I would be able to stomach it.

I wandered through the Park, dodging the celebrating family members and townspeople and keeping an eye out for Max, Rosalind, or Kyle—the three people I wanted to avoid at all costs. I made it to the West End, and found it to be just as lavishly decorated as the park; the streamers stretched all the way up to the top of the bell tower of the church, fluttering in the calm breeze. The road in front of the Manor and the Church were even more packed than in the Park—if that were possible—but I managed to push myself through, ending up at the very far end near the Mayor's house.

I resigned myself to sitting on a crate on the dock, picking despondently at the hem of my shirt. I just couldn't find it in myself to participate in the festivities, even though I knew in my gut I should just get over it and be happy for Rosalind. It was what she wanted, wasn't it? She wouldn't have accepted Kyle's proposal if she didn't feel the same. Rosalind was an intelligent woman; level-headed and unlikely to get too swept up into things. If Kyle was what truly made her happy, then I should be happy as well.

If you love them, let them go, right? Too bad the saying was a lot easier to swallow than actually following through with it. I looked out to the sea, but it wasn't really all that comforting, like it usually was. That knife that had settled itself in my chest that morning just kept on pressing into my chest until it felt like I was gasping for air.

I fought it back—I wasn't going to lose it, not in public, where anyone could find me. Breathing deeply, I fought to calm myself down, eventually managing to get a hold of myself.

It could only get worse, though, because just then the bells of the church tower started ringing, signaling to everyone that the wedding was about to begin. I took a deep breath, forcing myself to stand up.

I had to do this. I owed it to Rosalind and myself to see this through. Hopefully seeing the actual event would be enough to force myself to let go.

.~.~.~.~.

Alicia found me near the entrance to the Church, and quickly grabbed my hand again, pulling me in without a word. She seemed just as determined as I told myself I should be to make sure I saw this through, which I supposed I was grateful for—if I started to chicken out and decide to leave during the ceremony, she would at least keep me there, even against my will. I knew it was important that I was here, but I was seriously second-guessing whether this was a good idea—especially when I saw Max up by the altar, talking to Gordon while everyone filed in.

I hadn't so much as seen him in the last few days, part from him being busy preparing for the wedding, and part from me avoiding him. But although avoiding him really hadn't done much to sort out my thoughts, I still didn't feel comfortable seeing him yet. I still didn't know what to think of what he said, much less of what he did.

I must have unconsciously held onto Alicia tighter, because she squeezed my hand and looked back as she pulled us into a pew, putting me in between herself and Mana. At the very least, there wasn't any escape… She leaned over, whispering in my ear, "Relax, Ray. It won't be so bad, trust me, and it's better for you to see this." I snorted, slouching in my seat, avoiding looking at her. Sure it wouldn't be so bad. What did she know, anyway? "Besides, Rosalind needs you to be here. She seemed upset that you haven't been talking to her the past few days."

I grit my teeth as my heart clenched painfully in my chest at that—I hadn't so much as thought of what Rosalind must have been thinking when I stopped talking to her after I saw the proposal. As far as I knew, she had no idea that I had any feelings for her at all, so of course she would have been confused and hurt at my disappearance—and the thought hadn't even crossed my mind, I was so caught up in feeling hurt and confused and betrayed.

Great. Now, on top of everything else, I was feeling guilty. This was just turning into a spectacular day.

The din in the Church started to slowly quiet down and I ventured a gaze up to the altar, only to immediately regret it. Kyle was up there now, talking with Gordon, and Max was unwaveringly staring directly at me. At first his expression seemed surprised, but it quickly turned, the corners of his mouth turning down.

He looked utterly apologetic, like he was trying to beg for forgiveness with just his look alone. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, looking away. Alicia seemed to notice, because her gaze kept flickering between the two of us worriedly.

"You still haven't made up with Max?" she whispered, finally focusing just on me. I just shook my head.

"In case you haven't noticed, I've been trying to avoid doing that at the moment, thank you," I whispered back harshly. Alicia just sighed, shaking her head.

"What are you, five? Whatever happened between you two, you had better sort it out, or else you might just lose each other. Can you deal with that?" I flinched back, biting my lip.

No. I couldn't deal with that. But I didn't know if I could deal with the current situation either, which was why I had been trying to put it off. "I… I know that. I just…"

"Don't know how to deal with it?" she finished for me, giving me a small smile. I nodded, gaze snapping back up to the altar when I heard Max laugh. Kyle had apparently said something funny, because both Max and Gordon were laughing while he smiled at them. It made my insides knot up. "Just talk with him, Ray. Max isn't a horrible guy—whatever you decide, he'll still want to be your friend above all else. And I know you would rather it be like that too."

I was about to shake my head and tell her it wasn't that simple when the organ in the back started playing the wedding march, and the room went absolutely quiet. My chest automatically seized up as the doors to the Church opened, revealing Rosalind to be standing there, looking absolutely…

Absolutely stunning. That's what she was: absolutely and exquisitely beautiful. Her hair was pulled up and curled, falling around her head in long ringlets. A veil was over her face, but I could still see it, her emerald eyes shining brightly from behind, her rosy painted lips curved in a beautiful nervous smile. She wore the town's traditional wedding dress; white with red ribbons sewn along the hems and lined with lace. She stepped forward in time with the music, and all heads in the room followed her along, eyes glued to her.

I bit my lip, breathing in through my nose to try and calm myself down. This wasn't going to hurt as much as I thought it would, I told myself. I would just have to be brave and just get it over with. When she passed by she glanced over at me, at first seeming surprised before she gave me a small relieved smile. I did my best not to look like I was about to fall apart.

She reached the altar, where Kyle was beaming down at her, looking absolutely overjoyed. He took her hand, helping her up the steps so that she could stand next to Julia, who was her maid of honor.

I felt jealousy thread itself through my veins, meshing with the other emotions that had deposited themselves in the lump in my throat. If anything, a part of my mind told me, I had always imagined I would be the one up there with Rosalind, having her look so beautiful for me, to have her hand in mine while Gordon read off our vows and promises to each other. But it wasn't happening. Kyle was the one up there, not me. There was no changing it, nothing I could do to stop it. And I cursed that fact with all my being as I watched, my stomach and heart curling up in knots.

Just as Gordon started speaking, though, Max choked, breaking into a coughing fit, all but ruining the moment. Rosalind, Kyle, and the entire congregation watched incredulously as he coughed into his sleeve, face turned away. When he finally recovered, he turned back around, smiling uncomfortably and looking embarrassed.

"I apologize, dear sister, I'm afraid you took my breath away," he joked with a big grin and a laugh, and some of the congregation started snickering. Rosalind giggled, shaking her head. I just rolled my eyes.

Way to go, Max, really. He certainly knew how to ruin a moment. Although I guess I should have been slightly grateful—it turned my mind away from the path it had been going down…

I didn't really pay much attention to the rest of the proceedings, I mostly just studied my hands or the walls or the carpet—it had been switched from the previous blue to white to match the décor—not wanting to watch as Kyle and Rosalind gazed lovingly at each other as Gordon read off their vows and started the ceremony. Occasionally I did glance up, though, watching Julia in her blue dress that matched Max's suit—the exact color of his eyes, as I had noticed when I first walked in—and, traitorously, at Max. He was very obviously watching me, and considering how many times I caught him looking at me when I glanced up; he was probably watching me more than the ceremony. I bit my lip, trying to ignore the way his glances turned my heart over and over until it felt as twisted as a spring, and by the time Gordon told Rosalind and Kyle to seal their bond with a kiss the only thing keeping me in my seat was Alicia's firm grip on my wrist. I didn't want to be here, I didn't want to witness this, I didn't want to know without any doubt that Rosalind was forever gone from my reach and Max was in love with me.

I humored myself with the question of whether Julia knew and what she thought of it if she did, but decided it was still a touchy subject and I didn't want to think about it anymore. I looked up again just as Rosalind and Kyle kissed, and the entire room exploded with cheers so loud it made my ears ring. I bit the inside of my cheek until I tasted iron.

I stood up, everything seeming to go in slow motion, the noise around me dulling to a low roar. Alicia pulled me along, positioning me in line behind her, so that we could offer our congratulations to the new couple up at the altar, who were beaming brightly down at us. I found Max's gaze again, but quickly looked away, busying myself with watching how quickly and long the line grew, amazed that so many people seemed to fit in the Church like they did. I wouldn't have been surprised if there were more outside, honestly.

First up was Herman, who ran as fast as he could up the altar steps to give his daughter and new son-in-law what looked to be very uncomfortably bone-crushing hugs, talking excitedly, a handkerchief in his hands. Max and Julia said a few words next before excusing themselves and walking down the aisle to go outside, Julia on Max's arm. They both gave me a meaningful look as they passed, but nervously I looked away, practically hiding myself behind Alicia.

The line shortened quickly, too quickly, and before I knew it Alicia was stepping up, giving Rosalind and Kyle a delighted hug in turn, saying a few words before walking down, her overjoyed expression swiftly turning into a 'you better not back down now or I might have to kill you' look before she walked past me and to the doors.

I gulped, shakily forcing myself up the altar steps. Rosalind was smiling at me, but her expression looked a little worried and curious. I tried my best to smile brightly at her, nodding to Kyle, who flashed me a big smile as well.

"Uhh…" I started, fumbling with the words. I bit my cheek, forcing myself to say it. "Congratulations, you two. I'm… very happy for you. I hope… I hope you will be very happy with each other."

And I couldn't deny that it was true. I did hope that. I was happy for Rosalind, and for Kyle as well. Standing up so close to them, I could feel the excitement and love that radiated off of the both of them. It was almost dizzying.

"Thank you," Rosalind replied, stepping up and giving me a hug. I hugged her back until she pulled away, shook Kyle's hand, and numbly stepped down so the next person could come up.

I'd done it. I'd just given her away, the one woman I had loved, and probably the only I would love as I did.

My legs were wobbly and it felt like I had been torn in two, and it took all I had to not fancy the idea of stringing myself up with the ribbons so I could finally put myself out of my misery. Such a thought was dangerous territory.

.~.~.~.~.

"R-Ray…?" A soft voice spoke from beside me, rousing me from the textbook I had been trying to read for the past few hours. The wedding itself was long over, and the sun had set, but I could still hear the cheers and jubilation wafting from the west side of town. I had tried to shut it out—and my thoughts—by studying, but it was rather hard to concentrate on memorizing diseases and their symptoms when my mind tried to think of everything else.

I looked up, and it was Dorothy who had spoken to me, hiding under her bangs and hood like usual.

"Yes?" I asked, a little more of my displeasure seeping into my voice than I had intended. She shrunk back a little, and I instantly felt bad. "Sorry," I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. "What do you need, Dorothy?"

"I… umm… Julia asked me p-pass on a m-message…" she mumbled, clutching Fern to her chest.

"Julia did?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "Alright, go on."

"S-she asked me to t-tell you… to tell you to c-come to Shooting Star Path in about an h-hour…"

"What for?" I honestly couldn't think of any reason Julia would need me, much less at Shooting Star Path… hardly anyone set foot there.

Dorothy didn't say anything; she just shook her head and sped out of the room. I watched her go, feeling a little more than confused.

.~.~.~.~.

**A/N:** MOAR LONG CHAPTERS I write too much lulz. Anyway, that's the end of chapter 7.

Rosalind's wedding was fun to imagine, although I didn't really get to explore it much because this is from Ray's perspective. Everyone on the planet seems to come, and then they all eat lots of food, drink lots of alcohol, and then repeat it for the entire night until everyone passes out. Sounds like a party to me. XD

Thank you all for your kind reviews thus far, and for all the feedback I've gotten. You all make me so happy I could cry. 8D *hug-glomp-snuggles everyone*


End file.
